Do You Ever Want to Push Pause, a Playlist

“and you wonder if you’ll ever get to do all those things that you said”

Here, the floor is carpeted. A man named Steve sits next to me. His long blonde hair should’ve been cut a long time ago. He works construction. “It’s Sunday, you know?” He tells me, unprompted. “Tomorrow, it all begins.” He emphasizes the word “all.” But then assures me this week won’t be too bad; after all, he’s between jobs. Behind him, I notice a Denver Broncos calendar from 2015. The last season they won the Super Bowl. The walls are lined with memorabilia. Elvis mirrors hang next to fake Beatles autographs. Lots of baseball caps on the patrons. March Madness on the TVs. Nobody’s watching. Through a small window, the sun passes just behind the mountains. It’s a party in here. There’s a Nate and there’s a Tina and there’s a Skinny. Every dive needs a Skinny — at least that’s what Skinny told me between his cigarette drags in the parking lot. Trixie, the bartender, is loopy and smiley as she pours whiskey for her friends. She tells me she’d kick my ass on the mountain. I don’t deny it. Why would I? Stare at the Coors draft before me, getting lost in the thought of nothing. Do you ever want to push pause? Stop it all, just for a little bit. You can’t. Still, everyone knows everyone. They didn’t know me before now. But now they do. Tomorrow, who knows. But it’s not about tomorrow. It’s about now. Stretching the time before it all begins.